The way I see it, I was innocent, and the guy in the pathfinder was negligent. Very negligent. The damage that he caused was beyond belief, and caused me so much trouble, that he should have to pay. I didn’t get a very good look at the driver at first.
I was driving east on Armitage, just west of Halsted, right near Charlie Trotters (very overrated, if you ask me, but nice to have as a status symbol in the neighborhood). I had the green light, and proceeded to pilot my Jetta across Halsted, right outside the Marquee Lounge. The driver of a big black Pathfinder pulls off Halsted and hangs a right turn in front of me. As I tailed him down Armitage, I gave him the Magic Horn Treatment. After exactly 55 seconds of lounging on the horn, the guy stops, right in the middle of the street. Unbelievable.
Well, if he was willing to get out of the car, so was I. I jumped out, gave him a nasty glance, and slowly approached his car. I screamed at him that he cut me off illegally and almost caused an accident. He started laughing, almost uncontrollably. I quickly swapped my angry face with a curious smile, and asked this fellow what was so funny. He starts pointing, right at my face, and cackles that I have lipstick all over my face. I turn and look at my face in the fine sheen of my Jetta… and in fact, I do have lipstick streaked across my face. It was all his fault, and he was going to pay! He was going to pay for making me do this to myself. Before I could exit my stupor of disbelief, he quickly hopped back into his truck and took off. I discreetly tailed him around Lincoln Park until he pulled into the parking lot at Sam’s Wine & Liquors (I had intended to stop there myself). After he left his car, I parked nearby and considered leaving a note with a Trixie Star (
) on the back of his truck.
In the end, I went inside. I needed wine for dinner, and I had already spent more time on this man than on my lipstick.
—Melissa Miller
