dating and love
by Cindy Mason
"The Art of Keeping Him Interested"
Trixies will be Trixies, and although we will stay tight-lipped about some things (like who is dating her old English Lit Prof from DePaul, or who is more content spending Saturday night reorganizing her Restoration Hardware catalog than returning her current beau's calls), when it comes to the art of keeping a TrixieMale properly enchanted, we all dish it up.
Amazing Trixie Presence
In my last round table with fellow Trixies at Le Passage drinking Stoli mixers, I inquired: "Does your TrixieMale tell you that you are the most captivating woman in the room?" More than half of us stood up with our Stoli mixers and proudly pronounced "Yes!" whilst the others shrunk in their seats and sadly examined their manicures.
I refuse to see Trixies in mourning over romantic experiences gone flat. I knew I had to help. So I embarked on a trip down Strategic Enchantment Lane. How exactly did I learn to hold a room — and a man — in complete, sustained fascination?
Oh wait, I remember. The Rules, by Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider. Heard of it? My mother certainly had, as I found this book in our reading den when I was still at DePaul. It is required reading. Kaplan does not offer a prep class for this either, but they absolutely should.
The Rules is a tactical guide for the modern woman who refuses to leave romance to chance. The authors give detailed instructions on how to conduct yourself with poise and selective availability — two qualities the TrixieMale finds irresistible and entirely confusing, which is precisely the point.
Plymouth Rock Would Land on Them
The Trixie who makes herself too available is the Trixie who finds herself eating alone at Cafe BaBaReBa on a Friday. The Trixie who is selectively available, perpetually composed, and mildly unreachable is the Trixie who has a standing reservation and someone to share the crostini. This is not cruelty. This is strategy. There is a difference, and the difference is everything.
DO NOT Stop Short of Excel-lence
Trixies, a famous person once said: "If at first you don't succeed, try, try again." Now, I don't know if they were talking about romantic persistence, but what if they were. What if they were? This means you cannot abandon the pursuit of becoming the most compelling version of yourself for the benefit of your TrixieMale. Of course, he must be deserving of this effort. But that is a topic for a different day. Certainly NOT a Friday, though.
Just as Einstein did with his splitting atoms and George Washington Carver did with his squished-up peanuts — EXPERIMENT. Try dinner conversation up, down, sideways. Ask a question. Do not answer one. Mention something you've read. Do not explain it fully. Leave just enough unsaid that he is still thinking about it at 11pm when he is back in Lakeview wondering what you meant. Focus! Focus and you shall make him more attentive than a grande skim chai latte makes you.
Assignment for this week: read three chapters of The Rules, cancel one plan you were going to keep, and under no circumstances call first.
Love and other indoor sports,
Cindy
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Cindy Mason is The Society's specialist on love, romance and relationships.
Write Cindy at cindy@lptrixie.com
