CHICAGO, IL — Lincoln Park, 60614 — The Lincoln Park Trixie Society today announced the launch of its newest civic awareness campaign: No Data Centers in 60614, a neighborhood-first initiative dedicated to preserving champagne pressure, hydrangea viability, and the sacred electrical stability of blow-dry appointments from the creeping menace of Big Tech infrastructure.
While other communities may debate zoning, taxation, and environmental impact, Lincoln Park is asking the more urgent question: why is our village being asked to hydrate the cloud?
The campaign comes amid growing neighborhood concern that large-scale and "quietly tucked away" data infrastructure may be consuming water, power, and civic patience at unsustainable levels. Particular attention has turned to what some residents are calling a little-known mini data center allegedly operating beneath a well-known computer store near North and Halsted.
"Lincoln Park was built for brownstones, brunch, and discreet generational wealth — not server racks humming under our retail corridors like a crypto basement with better branding. We are not anti-technology. We are anti-having our mimosas served at room temperature because some hidden machine room is sucking down the grid."
The Society's Position
Schaumburg, according to the campaign, offers "ample land, parking, chain restaurants, fiber access, and the spiritual willingness to host things that require windowless buildings." Lincoln Park, by contrast, offers tree-lined streets, over-scheduled children, historic masonry, and an electrical grid already strained by espresso machines, heated bathroom floors, security cameras, Pelotons, and women named Meredith charging three devices at once.
The campaign will call for immediate transparency around any neighborhood-based data infrastructure, including disclosure of water usage, power draw, backup generator plans, cooling systems, and whether the facility has ever caused a flicker during a Botox party.
"People think data centers are somewhere far away, behind berms and beige signage. Then suddenly you find out there may be one tucked under North and Halsted, quietly drinking the village like a Stanley cup in hot yoga. That is unacceptable."
The Society Is Demanding
- A full inventory of all data center, mini data center, server room, edge computing, and "we're not calling it a data center but obviously it is" facilities operating within 60614.
- A moratorium on new data infrastructure in Lincoln Park until residents receive clear reporting on water, power, heat, noise, and environmental impact.
- A relocation framework directing future facilities to Schaumburg, Elk Grove Village, or any other community with sufficient square footage and fewer brunch reservations.
- A public hearing held somewhere civilized, preferably with valet.
The Society emphasized that this is not a rejection of modern life. Members remain committed to iCloud photos, online shopping, remote work, group texts, suspiciously curated Instagram feeds, and the ability to summon a car while standing in expensive shoes. But they insist that the physical burden of all that convenience should not be hidden beneath one of Chicago's most residentially delicate ZIP codes.
"Let us use the cloud. Do not park the cloud under our village."
Move Them All to Schaumburg.
About the Lincoln Park Trixie Society. The Society serves Members in Lincoln Park and maintains an active interest in the neighborhood's civic affairs.