LINCOLN PARK, CHICAGO — The river is full, the Playpen is forming, and Members are once again describing themselves as "boat people." A statement on the season.
Boating season has opened, and the Society wishes everyone a safe and flattering summer on the water.
A clarification first, because it comes up every year. Almost no one in the village owns a boat. What Members own is a friend with a boat, which is better. The boat owner buys the slip, the fuel, the insurance, and the winter storage. The Member brings a white wine she was given at Christmas and her sunglasses. This arrangement has held for generations and the Society sees no reason to disturb it.
The season has rules, and we publish them as a service.
One. White sneakers on deck, no exceptions. This is the single firmest law in the village. A Member who scuffs a teak deck with a street shoe will not be asked back, and should not expect the matter to be discussed.
Two. The river is for being seen. The lake is for meaning it. An evening cruise through downtown, under the bridges with the towers lit — that is theater, and Members should dress for it. The open lake involves waves, distance, and weather. Members considering the lake should consider whether they actually like boats, or like the river.
Three. On the Playpen, the Society remains officially neutral. Unofficially: it is a parking lot where everyone is in a swimsuit, the music is winning, and someone always stands up on a bow they shouldn't. Members attend. Members enjoy it. Members deny this at brunch.
Four. No Member shall refer to herself as "crew." She is a guest. Crew implies duties.
The Society will spend the season as it always does — on the water several times, photographed near it more often, and grateful, by Labor Day, that the boat belongs to someone else.
— Issued by the Office of the Executive Director.