Clipped from the district reports on my way through the village. I read these so you don't have to. — Ash
July 15, 2001 — Society Member Rianne O’Rourke was riding through the neighborhood on her silver and candy blue 2001 Trek 8000 WSD — a gift from her husband Rob — when she became thirsty. Locking up her bike on the racks in front of Webster Place, Rianne ran into the Starbucks at Clyborn and Webster for some bottled water. She returned moments later to discover the front wheel of her bike had been urinated upon.
“It was disgusting,” reported a tearful O’Rourke. “A big hot stinky puddle of dog [urine] all over the front tire. I mean, I just love to ride. I’m very serious about it. From late-May to mid-September I’m out there on the streets two or three times a week. From Fullerton to North Avenue along the Lake path, from our place over on Halsted and Willow to Sam’s Wine’s and Spirits, over to Bordo’s on Tuesday nights for our girl’s night out — I am all over the city on this bike! It’s brand new! And some jerk just let’s his dog whiz like a leaky firehose all over the place. I just don’t get it! Why aren’t the police watching for these maniacs?”
Several other reports have been filed reporting this type of vandalism. It is unknown if the markings are the work of a single animal, or a pack of dogs working in conjunction.
“The number of these incidents has been growing in the past few months,” says Detective Andy Panozzi of the Chicago Police Department. “It’s just a sad situation. We tell the girls to not to leave their bikes unattended-you know, have a friend or attractive stranger watch the bike. Or — if they’re alone — we tell them to lock the wheel to the frame of the bike and then throw the entire bike up onto the hood of any old station wagon or pickup truck parked on the street — then at least the bike is well out of range of your average mid-sized dog, though still vulnerable to your Great Danes and your Borzois, and the occasional Red Cambodian Climbing Hounds you see sometimes here in the Village. If there is still a concern, we suggest just driving or taking a cab to your final destination. It’s ugly, I know, the urination… but this is the kind of stuff that happens in a city the size of Chicago. It’s a real disgrace.”
As of press time, no suspects had been arrested.
Editor’s Note: Ms. O’Rourke is not related to the Society’s Executive Director, Abigail Kendrick O’Rourke
