The board went east for a summer leadership workshop. What happened out there is recorded here so it never has to be discussed at a meeting again.
In June the Society was approached by a publicist named Kipling Reese, who said he did outreach for what he called the Garten household. The board was invited to a two day leadership intensive in East Hampton concluding with an afternoon in Ina's home kitchen. There was a PDF. It had a wax seal that printed as a gray circle, which everyone chose not to think about.
Ashley booked a Vrbo in Water Mill for the week. Seven bedrooms for six women, because the board shares committee assignments and nothing else. Saltwater pool, a pantry that came pre styled with jars of beans the listing said were decorative, and a house manual with two full pages about the outdoor shower and one sentence about the fire extinguisher.
The unraveling
Kip communicated only between two and four in the afternoon. He said mornings were for the household. He approved the board's menu preferences by form, asked twice about allergies to lovage, and mentioned that Ina's driveway had a weight limit, so the ladies should arrive in no more than two vehicles and ideally German ones.
The night before the kitchen visit he called about what he termed kitchen insurance. A refundable courtesy hold of $4,400, payable in Nordstrom gift cards, photographed front and back. Margot, who has chaired three galas and buried two capital campaigns, said one word to the room. She said, girls. That was the whole speech.
It came apart in about forty minutes. The email address had a number in it. The confirmation letter's signature was traced from a cookbook. The phone number belonged to a jet ski rental operation in Montauk, which explained the afternoon hours, and honestly explained Kip. There was no household. There was no kitchen. There was possibly no Kipling.
“We were never mad about the money. We were mad about the menu approval form. He made Erin defend her potato salad twice.”
The workshop proceeds
Nobody called the airline. The house was paid for and the board does not retreat from a retreat. So the workshop became this. Every night one member cooked Ina, from the books, no substitutions. Roast chicken with the lemon in it. The lobster mac. The flag cake happened in July and it will happen again. On night three somebody said store-bought is fine and the room went silent out of respect, the girls agreed the light out there is just different, its the humidity probably.
On the last full day they drove to Westhampton Beach looking for the original Barefoot Contessa store. It was no longer there. The board stood outside anyway and had a moment. A woman nearby asked if they were a choir. Dana said yes.
The minutes record the week as professional development, approved unanimously. The gift cards were never purchased. The beans were, it turns out, not decorative, and the board would like the listing's host to know the white ones were excellent.